Friday, June 28, 2013


You know that voice in your head that yells," YOU CAN'T DO THIS!"
Well that was happening to me on my run this morning ...
I told it to stick it.
And although it was not my best run...
who cares.
I am out there and getting back on the horse, right?
To go from running marathons, to moving at a snails pace or basically starting all over
since I have not run in oh...8 or 9 months...
is hard for me...I am not going to lie.
But people who succeed in life very rarely listen to that voice in their head that says they can't do it.
 Instead, they use it for motivation, a reason to prove to themselves that they can acheive anything with a little bit of hard work and dreams in their pockets.
Now off the computer to snuggle with my baby girl and to enjoy this beautiful sunny weather!


Monday, June 24, 2013

Big brother

Taylor asks every day if he can hold his baby sister - talking, singing and playing with her. I think he is quite taken with this little butterbean. He loves to kiss and rub the top of her head especially. I am so proud of how good of a brother he has been to his three sister's.

He's always thinking of ways to help them, buy them presents on their birthdays and overall be a great brother. Oh there are days he loves to terrorize them, but what brother doesn't do that ;-). I am  thankful for this wonderful son who has blessed our lives!

Sunday, June 23, 2013


I have always felt my home should be a haven from the world.
A place where my kids can feel safe
A place for laughter
A place to be yourself
A place where they can be spiritually and intellectually fed
As of late, my oldest has come to realize more and more the difference between our home and the harsh realities of our world.
Middle school, hanging out with more non-LDS friends, participating in more after school activities has made my oldest more immersed in the world.
She came home very upset from a birthday party of a friend from school.
I asked her what was wrong
She replied, "Mom, those girls were saying horrible things and using words that made me feel gross. I am so happy to be home."
A reality we all face...
As society falls apart more and more
So does the family.
The youth of today are righteous warriors, going off to battle each day to be beacons to the world. They face things I NEVER could have imagined.
School shootings, immorality, dishonesty, and selfishness all at heightened levels....
Some days I wants to bundle my kids and put them in their own protected bubbles so they may never experience the evils of this world but then I would be going against the plan.
 I would be halting their eternal progression.
As mothers in Zion, it is our duty to give our kids the confidence to go into the world, to know who they are as Sons and Daughters of their Heavenly Father, so they may touch other peoples lives and come unto Christ. A duty that I take very seriously.
I am privileged to be raising these children in the latter-days.
Though there is much evil in this world - there is so much GOOD!

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Fit mama

After the birth of my three older children, getting back to my pre-pregnancy weight became harder and harder each subsequent pregnancy - ESPECIALLY with my third child, Chloe. 
That pregnancy I gained over 60 pounds....
Yes you heard me...
over 60 whopping pounds.
There are many reasons why...
My husband was in school full time and working two jobs - thus being ALONE with two toddlers
I was suffering from depression
I ate horrible and the fact that Keith worked at Red Robin as the serving manager did NOT help one bit...can you say tower of onion rings?!?
My back hurt from a car accident and the birth of my son, making me physically hurt all over during my pregnancy
and I will end the the list there...
It was a dark period of my life!
I do not like to talk about it because well who honestly likes to go back and revisit the past, especially when it was a really hard time to overcome physically, emotionally and psychologically.
When I was a teenager I was diagnosed with Anorexia and that played a major roll in why I was depressed. For the rest of my life, I will suffer from Body Dysmorphic Disorder. I do not see my body the way others see me. I tend to view myself as fat, unattractive and  not the beautiful woman I know my husband sees.By no means am I a super model but every day I struggle to fight the negative thoughts of how ugly I am or what could be better about my body. 
This may sound very self absorbed but it is not.
It is something that is very real for hundreds of women.
And MANY go their about their WHOLE lives without realizing they have it.
I was lucky.
My parents got me help and a wonderful therapist who helped me see that this was not normal.
I saw that what I was doing to myself was self destructive, shielding me away from the true beautiful of daughter of God who was in the reflection of the mirror. I wasn't able to see or grow my true potential until I realized what I had. And many women never do. They end up berating themselves their whole lives - wasting it and never being happy with the woman in the mirror.
Today I am happy.
I know that I am a beautiful and virtuous daughter of God.
My body is a temple in which I have the utmost respect for in all that it can do. I have given birth to four BEAUTIFUL children. I have run marathons. I have overcome illness. I have the ability to go about my daily life with energy to reach for my dreams.
I have been blessed with health especially this last pregnancy. I entered it being in the best shape of my life and a healthy frame of mind spiritually and psychologically. I know that is because of My Savior, Jesus Christ. He helped me these last few years over come many of my old demons to focus on what I needed to learn. He loves me enough that when I have done all that I can do, he finishes the rest. And I felt that these last few months.
 I was blessed with health and have recovered from pregnancy well. 
I feel amazing and have felt so BLESSED to have this blessing in  my life.
I am a healthy mama who has four wonderful children and loves having the energy, charisma, and stamina to do so.



Facebook has been on my mind as of late.
Is it worth it?
Have we lost the interpersonal communication we all used to have such as a phone call or e-mail?
In the last year I have noticed I have been using my e-mail less and less for communicating and more or less just for deals and bills.
I mean don't get me wrong
Facebook does have its perks such as setting up an event, finding out the answer you need quickly from a friend or asking peoples advice..even sharing an uplifting message or gathering people together via internet for a group.
there is that cold reality that facebook tracks you.
Something, I am not a fan of particularly.
Yesterday I was googling a product and lo and behold on the side a couple of hours later were ADs for the very subject matter I was googling...
I plan to be on Facebook less this summer.
It has been something that has been nagging at me and starting today I will be posting less and blogging more.
I was re reading over my old blog posts and what a shame I ever stopped. I love reading over some of my favorite blogging mothers and their daily lives. Blogs give you a depth Facebook can never have!


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